J.J. Robinson

Silence is a tricky thing. At times, it can be amazing and intrinsically wondrous. Other times, it can be daunting and frightful. Which form silence takes on in any given moment is far too volatile and dependent on numerous factors that we may or may not be able to control. Perhaps, that is the most terrifying part of it all?

Our mind can be a precarious place that is filled with old demons around every corner plotting their next move to force us on a rollercoaster of deceit if we do not control it.

Lately, I have fallen victim to the ever-wandering mind that weaves its way into the void fuelled by silence. Last year was a year that saw some of the lowest points of my life occur, but it also housed some of the best moments of my life. It was an absolute web of every emotion possible.

Oftentimes I found myself unable to escape my memories or my obligations and the what ifs that I legit felt like I was drowning in my own thoughts. My mind pondered, “is this the moment we admit defeat and accept our new reality?”.

I realized that for far too long I have resorted to occupying my mind whenever I can and with whatever I can. Pumping external stimuli into my mind numbed the thoughts and had become a type drug for me. That brief moment dopamine would rush throughout and provide relief.

However, this is not who I wanted to be.

I did not want to be the person who would mask my own thoughts and throw a “ignorance is bliss” into the wind and hope it catches. That only provides a temporary solution.

In short, I was overstimulated and in need of a break.

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My breaking point arrived and shined a light on the answer.

As I sat there, I noticed something. The silence was there, but it felt different.

It felt controlled.

It felt as if everything I was running from had finally caught up, but passed by and was no longer chasing me.

I felt free.

A wave of realization hit me that proved these were my thoughts in my mind.

I was in control.

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The ability to understand and make peace with the fact that everything, even the bad, is temporary can be freeing. Things happen whether we like it or not, but the one thing we can control is how we respond.

The beauty of silence is that it provides us a blank slate to experience and analyze our thoughts. We can let everything pour into the space reveal their truth. We can choose to keep the good and let go of the bad.

Silence fosters the ability to be truly neutral in our thoughts and become more purposeful.